By Natalie Ermann

Talking Tradition

The Quinceañera is more than 500 years old, so many of its components have very deep roots. The specifics can vary from culture to culture (Mexican girls, for instance, celebrate differently than Venezuelan girls do), but Quinceañeras usually begin with a mass at church, followed by a dinner and party with dancing (at a banquet hall, restaurant, or wherever else you can rent out a room).

Money Matters

Sure, it might seem like really elaborate or outrageous celebrations are all the rage right now — and the temptation to make the party over the top is always there — but you don’t need to blow your daughter’s college fund to have a fantastic Quinceañera. “It’s really important to not make it about the amount of money you spend,” says Veronica Chambers, author of the novel Quinceañera Means Sweet Fifteen. “Ask people who are important in your life to contribute not just in a financial way but in helping to plan. You can get an aunt to be the godmother of the dress or the music. It’s such a community-oriented thing.”

Making a Plan

To figure out the religious component, check with your church about its particular rules and regulations and decide which are most important to you and your daughter. Talking everything over with your child — telling her what you want, as well as listening to what she wants — is really important if you are hoping for an event that is fun for everyone.

Supporting Cast

As a quinceañera girl, your daughter will be accompanied by a “court”: Seven girls (called damas) and seven boys (called chambelanes); fourteen of each; or just seven of one or the other, depending on how you choose. What’s the significance of the number 14? Well, 14 plus the quinceañera girl equals 15 — the number of the day. Help your daughter to pick her court carefully — they’re going to be spending a lot of time together, plus they’ll need to help out, so you need people you can count on. Also, it’s important to work together to include the friends you are hoping to have be included (your best friend’s son, for example) and the friends your daughter hopes to have stand up for her.

Daddy Dearest

A quinceañera girl’s father usually has a big role: Helping her change from the flat shoes she wore during the mass into her first pair of high heels (a true sign of womanhood) and taking the first dance with her. He also often escorts his daughter down the aisle — though many quinceañeras opt to include mom, too — definitely a more modern take on tradition.